A gentleman respects wood

Hello there,

The relationship between gentlemen and timber has been a long two-by-four of mutual respect.  Ever since the early cave-gentlemen were able to fell the first trees for writing desks and what-have-you, there has been a certain respect given to all wood and hard fibrous materials.

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Larry David is at a loss as to why someone wouldn’t respect wood.

Wood is an invaluable resource for a gentleman.  After being tenderly chopped down it is then fashioned into things such as writing desks, humidors and different sized humidors.

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Sean Connery goes into a trance like state while selecting the perfect tree for a chair.

In many ways wood is just like a gentlemen, rigid, well mannered and in the case of a barrel, sometimes full of Scotch.  In this way the respect that a gentleman has for wood is that of a brother or golfing partner.

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Bogart was very protective of his wood.

Now you might think that chopping down a tree might be seem slightly disrespectful but I can assure you that it isn’t, not when the wood from said tree would be cared for and maintained by a gentleman.

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Hemingway was very protective of his  desk. Moments after this picture was taken this cat became briefly airborne (note that Hemingway makes sure not to mark the desk with the wine bottle).

The respect that a gentleman has for wood can also be used as a litmus test for weeding out gentlemen impostors.  Simply see if the person in question uses a coaster when he puts his glass or goblet on your table.  However there are more obvious examples of not respecting wood.

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Errol Flynn is quick to work out that the thrower of the pictured spear has neither respect for wood nor basic table etiquette.

The other positive about wood is that it is natural.  Just like the tobacco in ones pipe, the leather of ones shoes or the various cat parts in ones racket, wood is a living, organic substance all the way from sapling to pencil.

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Cary Grant monitors the growth of his Christmas tree as it will soon be turned into his next seasons golf tees.

There is just one problem when it comes to respecting wood and that is what does one do when the host (who assumedly doesn’t respect wood) has not provided you with a coaster for your chalice?

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David Niven fixed this problem by simply never putting his drink down.

So there you have it.

G.O. Brixley

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