A gentleman’s adventure
Salutations from Castle Brixley where I have once again returned, triumphantly I might add. I must apologise for the disruption in correspondence, but when one is on an adventure, one finds it hard to correspond (especially when the Tsar of Bulgaria has your typewriter confiscated). There are few things in life better than a good adventure and there are no adventures better than a gentleman’s adventure (it’s like a normal adventure but there is more whiskey, cigars and appearances by Sean Connery).
The grand thing about a gentleman’s adventure is that it’s as unpredictable as a Japanese assistant named Kato. Whether you’re prepared or not, adventure can come knocking on your door – sometimes with a pamphlet, sometimes with a parcel but more commonly with a treasure map, a fez hat and an aeroplane ticket to Budapest.
I have been on more gentleman’s adventures than you can shake a stick at and I have noticed that there are certain circumstances that tend to crop up wherever you might find yourself. The main offender is quicksand. Wherever you go you’re bound to get stuck in some quicksand. The thing to remember with quicksand is that struggling makes you sink faster and since you’re only going to be rescued at the last minute you may as well struggle away to speed up the whole process.
Following a dip in the sand you will probably find yourself staring down the rungs of a rickety jungle bridge. Typically found in between you and your destination, the rickety jungle bridge will either break voluntarily or need to be broken in circumstances where you need to outrun your nemesis.
This brings me to my next point – your nemesis. It wouldn’t be a gentleman’s adventure without an antagonist and the best antagonist is your arch nemesis. My suggestion would be to save a duel with your nemesis for later in your adventure as it can be quite exhausting and leave you wanting to sail the Mediterranean for a few months to recuperate on vintage champagne and sunshine.
Whether your next gentleman’s adventure takes you to the four corners of the earth by hot-air balloon or just to your local 15th Century library where you will have to battle and ancient order of religious fanatics, remember to enjoy each and every minute.
So there you have it.