The gentleman and the beard
Hello there,
It has come to my attention that there is a misconception that gentlemen do not have beards. This rumour has been started by certain parties and I must say that it is wrong. There is more to facial hair than the moustache and it is called the beard. Beards have been worn by men since the cavemen and the the modern beard was brought about by Socrates who cultivated his beard with the first pair of scissors ever invented.
Socrates didn't just sport the very first modern beard, he also dated Medusa for a short period of time. Very short.
There seems to be a certain stigma attached to the hirsute gentleman (other than his beard) and we here at The Gentleman would like to change this.
Harrison Ford found out the hard way that people didn't like beards. Luckily he escaped his incarceration and made friends with Tommy Lee Jones (who soon-after grew a beard).
Over the centuries the beard has gone in and out of gentlemanly style but it seems that now it has become associated with a dirty, unkempt look that is below a gentleman. However a well kept beard can do the exact opposite, just like a clean pair of spats can get you into the White House.
Sean Connery gives Michael Caine the evil eye after Caine shaved off the chin of Connery's beard. Caine had beard envy.
A well groomed beard can not only display your virility to the fairer sex, it can also be used to duel with other, less-bearded men over matters of honour. Unfortunately with a great beard comes great responsibility. Many gentlemen will have beard envy and will try anything to get rid of it. On the flip side of the coin you might find your significant other trying to de-beard you after a severe case of beard rash.
Enest Hemingway and Fidel Castro about to have a beard dual. Hemingway won to tie the series.
Unfortunately these are the follies associated with the beard and have since seen the decline of a once majestic gentlemanly facial hair.
Michael Caine grew a beard after he saw Sean Connery's. Here a spy of Connery's prepares to exact revenge on Caine in his library.
The main thing to remember about growing a gentlemanly beard is grooming. Like all good gentlemen you should go to the barber daily to get a shave and have your hair fixed up before the barber slaps some tonic in it for strength. A beard is no different and needs the same amount of attention that you would invest in improving your golf swing (ruffly 40 hours a week).
This is what happens if you forget to groom your beard. Beware!
So there you have it.
G.O. Brixley
I very much like your blog. I’m going to link to it in mine if you don’t mind.
You also get bonus points for being a Trekkie (or at least knowing that Anton Yelchin is a chess master).
By the way, I agree with you quite a bit regarding beards, even though I don’t like them on myself. Kinsey on Mad Men rocks the well-groomed beard quite well.