The Gentleman’s Christmas 2011

Hello there,

As you are surely aware Christmas is upon us like a fine bespoke three-piece suit on a gentleman.  Since this is the case, we here at The Gentleman thought we would guide you through the next two days in gentlemanly style.

Jimmy Stewart answers the question "how much do you enjoy Christmas?". That much.

Tomorrow (or when you read this ‘today’ or ‘yesterday’) is Christmas Eve which generally occurs the day before Christmas (or at least it has in the past).  Since the ready gentleman has done all his Christmas shopping to within an inch of its life we recommend you stay indoors and drink eggnog whilst listening to Sinatra croon you into a Christmas daze (if you can’t get Sinatra over try one of his Christmas records).

Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra get what they wanted for Christmas. Tuxedos.

On Christmas Eve you will no doubt have a lavish dinner with your close family and friends.  Things to include are usually a Christmas ham, Scotch, Cuban cigars, Cognac, bonbons, eggnog, roast pheasant, gin and of course the traditional Christmas yak.  You may like to include some fruits or vegetables to the meal, and you might want to stew the vegetables until they ferment and then drink the remaining liquid with ice and a cocktail umbrella.

Need a holiday idea? Drink eggnog and your prayers will be answered by the Christmas Angel when he drops by for some eggnog.

Being the head of your house (or chateaux, castle or manor) you will be required to dress up as the person who puts the ‘Christ’ in Christmas, Santa Clause.  Your duties as Saint Nick will be to stir the first batch of Christmas martinis, dance the traditional Kris Kringle Charleston and recite William Shatner’s version of ‘Rocket Man’.

Make sure you work out who is dressing up as Santa in your household. You or Errol Flynn.

Before going to bed on Christmas Eve make sure you put out a cuban cigar and bottle of Scotch for you-know-who… Humphrey Bogart.  He does enjoy a nightcap.

Humphrey Bogart gets into the Christmas spirit...Scotch.

On Christmas day after you pass the empty bottle of Scotch and cigar stub Bogart left, you can head to your Christmas pine and dish out the presents to your loved ones.  During the day feel free to drink and smoke all the presents that your friends and family gave you, it would be rude not to.

Sean Connery wakes up on Christmas morning to find just what he wanted. He also got a woman coated in frankincense and one in myrrh.

After the opening of presents you can sit down to another feast but this time of traditional Christmas caribou.  After a full stomach and a full glass of scotch you can enjoy the rest of the day enjoying the company of your friends, family and Humphrey Bogart who came back for another drink.

Merry Christmas to all our readers from The Gentleman and don’t forget to vote in the poll below!

So there you have it, until next time.

G.O. Brixley

H.L. Griffith

Vote on the caption below!