The gentleman’s recognition

Hello there,

Since the so called ‘award season’ is upon us once again like a thirsty gentleman on an aged Scotch collection, I have decided to inform you about the recognition that you will receive in being a gentleman.

Cary Grant (left) gives Jimmy Stewart (right) the award for best doppleganger.

Although we gentleman do our gentlemanly thing for the greater good and not to be awarded trinkets, it is sometimes nice to have something to go in your awards cabinet (or the glass fronted humidor that ran out of cigars after your last soiree).

Michael Caine, Roger Moore, Kevin Klein and Sean Connery win an award for best tuxedo baton relay. The award they won is behind them.

The awards that you may receive as a gentleman will be given to you for any number of reasons that include but are not limited to, being able to act better than everyone, being able to croon better than everyone and being the best dressed person in the room (even though you weren’t first in).

The greatest actor and the greatest crooner of all time. Luckily Kanye West was not around to spoil this moment.

When receiving the award it is important to remember to have a speech prepared.  You should try to have the speech memorised (especially if you’re an actor) however it is always handy to have it backed up on paper in case you pour your Scotch a little too liberally.

Sean Connery with the award for outstanding ability to carry a giant award.

In your acceptance speech the key things to remember are that you didn’t expect to win, everyone you were up against should have gotten the award instead and that everyone who helped you along the way should feel they are a part of the award.  If you like, you can also thank your chosen deity be it Jesus, Oden or Merlin.

Clint Eastwood won two Academy Awards for having one facial expression in every movie he has ever been in (expression shown above).

If you concentrate your gentlemanly studies to a more scientific, literary or harmonious field then you can expect to win a Nobel Prize at least once in your life.  Of course the Nobel Prize was named after the first recipient of the award, Alfred Nobel.

Alfred Nobel won the Nobel Prize for having a prize named after him (also for the best pensive pose in an armchair).

So even though we gentleman don’t want recognition for the tireless hours of gentlemanly pursuits we do each and every day, we should just take the awards and be thankful, and besides there is no better reason to wear a tuxedo than to an awards show.

Harrison Ford wins an award for hardest award to accept without dying.

So there you have it.

G.O. Brixley