The gentleman’s communication

Hello there,

Since the dawn of gentlemen (445BC {Before Connery}) and even before that, during the formative stages of gentlemen when Cro-Magnon cavemen were rolling boulders away from their cave openings for their significant other, gentleman have strived for different ways to communicate with each other over long distances.

Don Adams used to communicate to people by listening to their shoes. Don't judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes, or listened to one of their shoes' anecdotes.

Before Griffith and I invented the telephone and gave it to Alexander Graham Bell as a birthday present, there had been many forms of long distance communication.  These have included flags, smoke (communicating by smoking gigantic cigars), the letter, the telegram and tying a note to a rock and hurling it through the recipients window (discontinued method).

Alexander Graham Bell in carbonite.

Communication is an integral part of a gentleman’s business.  Be it receiving a soiree invitation via airmail and then sending your rsvp via telegram then only to thank the person for a wonderful evening over the telephone the next day, communication aids every step.

Groucho Marx writes the first ever 'text message' on this lady's back. She would then deliver the message and the recipient could send a message back to Groucho who would then take the message out to dinner.

The most gentlemanly form of communication is of course the humble letter.  For your most personal of correspondence you would handwrite the letter, however for typical day-to-day use it is fine to dictate a letter to your secretary whilst smoking a pipe and practising your putting into a cup.

Michael Caine pens a letter to a close friend in his vinyl library.

However if you want to skip some of the formalities that a written letter provides and if time is of the essence, then telephonic communication is your best bet.  Simply inform the operator who you would like to speak with and they will connect you forthwith.  Not in  your house?  Don’t worry, there are telephone stations in public now that can be used for a small fee.

Sean Connery uses a phone connected to the forest floor to contact his agent and agree to a quick brunch before his Sunday drive.

The best thing about a telephone is that you can speak directly to any person you wish to without delay and in the comfort of your favourite seat in your library (the one next to a roaring fire).

Cary Grant purchased a phone alright but he forgot to get a chair with which to sit in.

Today however there are even more ways in which to communicate.  Wireless phones, electronic mail and even bat signals serve as modern forms of long distance communication to the everyday gentleman.  The other day I was even informed about a system called “twitter” which can best be described as a telegram that gets sent to numerous people who don’t want it.

Groucho marx worked out a way to fight Nazis and send out invitations at the same time.

However I was informed by a young person that ‘twitter’ can in fact be used for good as well as the banal and therefore I hired this young person to set up a ‘twitter’ account for us here at The Gentleman.  Since we don’t know how to use it we simply write down what we wish our followers to read on a telegram which gets sent London before being posted via Royal Mail to Sean Connery’s house where he okays it before sending it to Cary Grant’s office ‘out tray’ where it is picked up by a young person and digitised onto twitter.  Simple.

Never owning a computer, Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra listen to Bing Crosby sing the latest TheGentlemanBlg "tweet" down the phone line.

Therefore if you would like to be on the recieving end of this process simply “follow” us at “thegentlemanblg” or go to the bottom of our homepage and click the “follow” link.

So there you have it.

G.O. Brixley