How to stay warm this Winter
As I look out my window I am constantly reminded of Scotland, where the rain fall is high and the temperature low. But don’t despair, we here at The Gentleman take it as our personal mission to help you, the reader, in every possible way we can. So let us tell you how to keep warm this Winter.
Step one is to pour yourself a stiff drink, preferably Scotch but if Scotch isn’t available then try Scotch.
Step two is to repeat step one numerous times until you don’t feel cold but are still in complete control of your gentlemanly faculties.
Now I know what you’re thinking but no, we aren’t geniuses (we are but not for this reason), the knowledge that alcohol has many magical properties including but not limited to keeping warm and fuelling the body is common knowledge.
Every gentleman who has ever climbed to the snowy peak of a mountain (every gentleman) knows the beauty of a stiff drink from a Saint Bernard. In fact the Saint Bernard dog was called as such because Saint Bernard himself was the patron Saint of dog collars and miniature barrels of Scotch.
Some of you gentleman out there may be thinking that this method of temperature control is well known, but you would be surprised.
But after conclusive studies we can safely say that consuming alcohol is the most effective way to battle the cold (studies carried out by Sean Connery).
Not only will you save on your heating bill (the price of firewood and coal to fuel your many fireplaces) but you will also get the benefits that alcohol has to offer, like strengthening the kidneys and liver. Just ask any doctor .
So take off your London Fog trench and get into a peaty Scotch this winter.
So there you have it.