The gentleman at Easter
As you are no doubt aware, it is once again Easter. I have no doubt since you can’t stroll down the high street without seeing images of gigantic Rabbits holding baskets of brightly coloured eggs. This is due to the fact that Jesus was put to death by the Romans almost 2000 years ago and was reanimated three days later by an occurrence not unlike that of Night of the Living Dead. This radiation didn’t just create a zombie Jesus, it also mutated a simple rabbit into a hideous being that lays chocolate eggs and sells them above cost.
So today we here at The Gentleman will detail the different ways a gentleman might honour this celebration of historic capital punishment, sacrifice and abominations to nature.
A gentleman might take time to get into the spirit of Easter by spending time with his loved ones and consuming many alcoholic beverages. For those gentleman who forewent drinking Islay Scotch during Lent (the 40 days leading up to Easter) then put away that Highland malt and pour yourself a healthy Lagavulin 16-year-old.
Some of you might want to rein-act the last days of Jesus by having dinner with friends followed by the ‘stations of the cross’ or a movie that retells the story of Jesus such as Passion of the Christ, Last Temptation of Christ or E.T. The Extra Terrestrial.
Or if you prefer the other side of the Jesus story…
If religion is not your thing then don’t despair, Easter can also be celebrated by heretics such as yourself. For the Pagan gentleman, outdoor feasts, hearty mead and forest nymphs are your escape from Roman crucifixion.
But don’t let anyone tell you how to celebrate Easter. It is up to you to find the best possible way to remember whatever it is you believe in.
So there you have it.