The gentleman at Christmas
As you are well aware I’m sure, Christmas is upon us like a lion upon a gazelle that I plan on shooting and making into a rug. Due to this fact, the whole week we shall be posting Christmas themed posts. I shall start the week off with a general overview of Christmas and the long relationship it has had with gentlemen.
Christmas is a wondrous time when the gentleman may get to treat himself to a little more Scotch than usual (to give him that extra hit of Christmas cheer). Also a lot of meat tends to be consumed, which is always a good thing.
Christmas started over two thousand years ago when the son of God was born. Hercules was born in a humble pig stye and was then placed in a manger, or troff. Soon thereafter he was visited by a number of wise men (If you think there were three of them you should stop getting your Bible facts from Frosty the Snowman) who gave him some very inappropriate children’s toys (not very wise if you ask me).
Because of this giving of gifts, we now give each other presents under the facade that a fat Kenny Rodgers look-a-like breaks into our houses via the easily accessibly chimney and puts them under a tree that for some reason is indoors.
But apart from all the inexplicably random series of events, Christmas is good for a few things. If you live in the Northern hemisphere then Christmas is the ideal time to stand next to a fireplace, smoke and have a hearty drink.
If you live in the Southern hemisphere, Christmas means you can sun yourself whilst sipping a martini by the pool as you cook your steak to perfection (rare) on a primitive outdoor stove (or barbeque, derived from the word barbarian).
So there you have it.