A gentleman and his fire

Good evening,

Today’s article concerns a gentleman’s mastery of the elements. In fact, one element in particular – fire. Man and fire have a long history, but fire was not fully understood or controlled by man until the gentleman came along. I will outline a few ways we have utilized it here.

Some gentleman are so good with fire that they are labelled ‘Fire Chief’ (or so I assume that to be what the title denotes).

The fireplace is an important part of every gentleman’s manor. What better way to illuminate your journal (as you recount your adventures in the Burmese jungle), set the mood for you and your lady friend, or simply be remind you that you have tamed the wild beast that is Mother Nature.

Beware. Sometimes Nazis (including attractive Austrian Nazis) are hidden behind fireplaces.

Cigars also require man to have mastered fire. We all know that the main reason a gentleman smokes a cigar is to enjoy the smooth flavours of Cuba’s finest tobacco (note: tweed has a way of nullifying nicotine receptors in the brain so a gentleman never gets addicted). Yet there is the fringe benefit of literally having fire in your mouth – a feat only a gentleman can achieve.

Churchill on the front line in (standard issue uniform). Once the English mastered movable flame, the German’s surrender was imminent. The instigation of the bow-tie as part of the uniform finished the job.

On a side note, it is obvious that ‘bogans’ can also light their cigarettes with a cigarette lighter. But a gentleman never uses a cheap safety lighter. It would be like Sinatra at karaoke – nobody wins.

To round out our short list is the candle. A gentleman will often refuse to eat with his lady if not by candlelight. Why rely on sterile electric light with your gentlemanly know how?

This gentleman is teaching his lady how to tame fire. Also, he’s not overcompensating for anything.

And with that, I shall let you go forth with your new-found knowledge and skills.

Until next time,

H.L. Griffith

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