Gentlemen don’t diet
It has come to my attention that in preparation for Summer many men consider dieting. This is wrong and should not be attempted. At no point in a gentleman’s life shall he ever diet for any reason except if faced with certain death.
If you are that overly conscious about your healthy gentlemanly belly just increase the number of gentlemanly activities you undertake. Play another set, round or innings. It’s that simple.
As gentlemen we are already the picture of physical and mental health. Nothing keeps the doctor away like a hearty steak followed by some cigars and Scotch (Although you might as well invite the doctor along to partake in said cigars and Scotch)
Possibly the most ungentlemanly product in the world is the ‘low-carb’ beer. Not only are men deceived into thinking that they will somehow lose weight because of this drink, they are actually forfeiting flavour simply because it is ‘low carb’. A gentleman lives for the finer things in life, be it a good cigar, a peaty Scotch or a full flavoured beer. What is a carbohydrate anyway? Have you ever seen one? How do we know they even exist? Or make us fat for that matter? Exactly.
Now I know not all men will heed my advice so I shall offer an alternative to dieting which I shall henceforth call the Gentleman’s Diet. The Gentleman’s Diet consists of replacing dinner with a cigar and Scotch. That is all (but make sure you have a hearty lunch).
So there you have it.