The sporting gentleman
The Commonwealth Games are upon us, and what has become immediately apparent is that gentlemanly diligence and demeanour seems to have left sport. When competing, a gentleman must always act in a gentlemanly manner.
I know what you are saying: “But surely a gentleman doesn’t cycle or wrestle or play most of the sports held at the Commonwealth games!”. This is true, and so we will cast these so-called ‘sports’ aside and refer only gentlemanly sports. These are golf, tennis, billiards and cricket.
Rule 1: Never vent your frustration on your opponents, the umpire or the crowd. It is important to keep your composure even when your opponent’s putter looks a little larger than regulation size.
Rule 2: Offensive language is never to be used. Instead, try saying “what a load of bully” or “Gordon Bennet!” (c.f. Gentlemanly Vocabulary Sept. 21 2010).
Rule 3: Be gracious to your opponent no matter whether you win or lose. A friendly handshake and a nice scotch together after the game means everyone is a winner.
Rule 4: Always act on the sporting field as you would act in the company of your closest friends. A hearty joke or a display of goodwill to your opposition should be as much a part of sport as the racquet or the moustache.
And so there you have it friends, follow these four simple rules and you will be a far greater sportsman than many of the modern day ‘sportsmen’ prancing around today.
And with that, I wish you good sporting.