A gentleman never tells.

Hello there,

As I am a man of the people I shall address a subject that a reader brought up, and that is ‘a gentleman never tells’.

In this day and age the vulgarity and competitive nature of ‘blokes’ seems to have changed this saying to ‘a bogan always tells’.  How unfortunate times have become.  But don’t be distraught because we can change these ways and bring about the ordered, gentlemanly way of going about things.


A group of gentlemen not telling.


No gentleman wants to know what depraved sexual acts you performed on that poor woman whose name you think might “start with a vowel sound”.  It’s quite simple really, if someone asks you whether you have “rooted” a particular person, politely decline and cease contact with that person.


The Rat Pack never talked to each other. They just sat around in gentlemanly silence.


Leave the smut talk at the schoolyard (unless of course you’re a teacher then you should probably leave it behind altogether).  If you have friends who are ungentlemanly simply follow this other rule “a gentleman never asks” even though they will probably tell you anyway.  There is nothing less gentlemanly than being vulgar and sexist, that is unless you are doing it as a satire, then anything goes.


And Bogart never told...


G.O. Brixley