Getting around.

Good day,

A gentleman is always in high demand. One can barely go an hour without being invited to a soiree, asked for his urgent attendance at a golf tournament or challenged to a race around the world. Hence a gentleman must know how to travel in style.

 

If your acquaintances at the Reform Club set you a challenge, don’t hesitate to enjoy a dram during the undertaking.

 

Unless absolutely necessary, a gentleman must avoid buses and electric trains. Trams (henceforth referred to as streetcars) are acceptable only if they have a dining carriage. Steam trains may also be used at a pinch.

 

Some gentleman on their way to an urgent cigar forum

 

If the requisite public transport is not available, a gentleman should procure a handsome cab or a private car to transport himself. Failing this, a swift walk to your destination will not only earn you a well-deserved cigar but give your moustache a smooth, svelte appearance upon arrival.

 

Gentleman do not need fancy “altimeters” or “copilots”. A well tied tie and a protective leather cap is all this gentleman needs.

 

International travel is another question altogether. If a biplane or hot air balloon is not available, one must politely refuse the request of the foreign dignitary and suggest a more suitable time or location. If, though, exceptional circumstances arise such as an invitational as St Andrews, a steam ship is a gentleman’s only option.

 

This steam ship has a chimney connected to the smoking room.

 

H.L. Griffiths

Train seats

Hello there,
As a gentleman you may from time to time catch public transport.

There are many reasons for this; socializing where your blood alcohol level may be deliciously high due to merriment, traveling to your place of business or education or meeting a secret society on the 3rd carriage of the 7:59pm Epping train every 3rd Thursday of the month.

 

Two gentlemen on public transport

 

The important thing is you will at some point need to catch public transport. However there is one thing you should always do as a gentleman, and that is give up your seat for the fairer sex.  Say for instance you are at the back of a block of six seats, imagine how good you will feel if you have to shuffle past everybody sitting there with their ipods or reading, to give up your seat for a lady of distinguished age.  And then who knows, you might as well treat yourself to a cigar once you exit the train, god knows you’ve earned it.

 

A bunch of gentlemen enjoying a fine smoke and drink after giving up their seat on the train.

 

Of course now days you may find a woman not willing to take a seat from a gentleman such as yourself.  To avoid the embarrassment of getting up and the lady not taking the now vacant seat, make sure you ask them first.  Most people will say ‘no’ but you will be able to gauge if it was a polite ‘no but I do really want a seat’ or a ‘I’m better than you and your seat so shove it up your arse’.

 

Here we see a train of gentlemen who have given up their seats and standing room.

 

As gentleman you may be up on the hierarchy for style and manners but you’re at the bottom of the list for people who deserve seats. Women, children, old gentleman who have bad backs and weak knees from years of standing on public transport, the disabled, you name it, they deserve your seat.

 

This might as well say 'No Gentlemen on Seats'

 

The best way to avoid the ‘sit down, get up’ dance is to not sit at all. I’m sorry gentlemen but unless it’s a carriage full of only other gentlemen, you’ll be standing.

G.O. Brixley