As Brixley and I spend our holidays in the antipodes this season, we have grown to know the Australian way of life over the past months. Australia lends itself to some of the finest gentlemanly ways. But, alas, it also falls in many alarming ways. Australia Day – Australia’s national day – shows both. Brixley and I endeavour here to right the wrongs which have been long on display.
Australia Day lends itself to a healthy amount of beer consumption. This means that Australia gentlemen will put down their glasses of Scotch (for a day) and pick up their glasses of beer. The avid Australian gentleman will keep their glass of Scotch in their hand while picking up their glass of beer.
Australia Day is also a celebration of the national sports of Australia. Many Australian gentleman will partake in a game of cricket or a hit of tennis.
Donald Bradman, of course, was undeniably Australia’s finest sportsman. But cricket is only one of Australia’s Summer sports.
Tennis and Cricket, though, are not the only sports a coordinated Australian gentleman may partake in, though.
For those not inclined to enjoy a day of sport, the beach is a customary spot for an Australian gentleman to spend his day.
And don’t forget that however you spend your Australia Day, make sure you have plenty of gentlemanly spirit, grace and enthusiasm.
And it would be remiss of us to neglect to mention the antithesis of gentlemanly behaviour that unfortunately rears its ugly head each Australia Day. It is the most ungentlemanly to:
a) Bear a Southern Cross tattoo.
f) Deriding any of the non-white citizens or visitors to this country.
b) Have a Southern Cross tattoo (even if concealed).
c) Consider getting a Southern Cross tattoo.
d) Seeing someone else with a Southern Cross tattoo and thinking anything but “what a horrendous man”.
e) Wearing the Australian flag as a garment
Until next time,